Foundation for Change

I sit here, frustrated with many things...  Money, the dishes, my friends, troubles taking initiative with projects I've promised others I'd start...  And I find myself in a loop, making excuses for every problem to come about.

I'm having trouble with money?  Well, I'll blame my smoking habit, and tell myself "I'll quit next month."

I'm angry about the dishes?  I'll just blame my roommate for not doing a better job with them.


Etc.


Yet, here I sit, fully aware that this is all BS.  I can easily resolve all of the things that are bugging me.  I'm at that point in my life where I know I need to move forth.  To learn and grow.  But it's scary.  Damn scary.

I think a lot of people get used to that feeling.  Feeling frightened of the change ahead.  People do it with everything- work, love, school, social ventures...  Everything.  The problem is creating a foundation to change and mature.  That's always the hardest part.


I think that will be my goal for the next few months.  Pour the concrete for a foundation for change in my life.

The Introduction...

Allright.  This is it...  the beginning.  A first.  I hope it doesn't hurt.

For starters, my name is "Adam."  Thrilling, I know.  I suppose I could go on long-winded explanations about who I am.  What I do.  But let's keep this simple, shall we?  I think there are two things that are important to know...  1- I value creativity.  It's who I am.  It's what I want to do...  be a creative person.  The dream is to make movies.  To write and direct.  And 2- I have Asperger's.  A form of Autism.

This is going to be a little experiment for me.  I need an outlet.  For the past three or four years, I've hit a roadblock.  Well, not so much hit a roadblock...  I basically drove headlong into the roadblock, and my creative car is totaled.  I'm stuck.

I have not had an outlet to express myself in some time.  I've dabbled here and there in different things, but aside from a few projects that have never got off the ground (or that failed miserably due to my uncanny ability to always try and do things that are just a little to complex), I've accomplished little.

So, I have decided to keep a diary of sorts here.  My rantings and ravings, for others to read. 

I have titled this blog "The Asperger's Guide to Life" because I'm planning on occasionally devoting a few posts exclusively to talking about my disorder and how it affects me, those I care about, and how it both hurts and helps me.

Asides from that, I plan on talking about life in general, ranting about things that annoy me, and maybe occasionally offer tidbits from projects I'm working on...  or just random thoughts.

Feel free to tag along with me on this voyage through the surf and waves of the internet and my own psyche.

Hope you have fun,
-Adam